Bob and Tom (and Screech does adult movie!)

In a world of dull radio stations, (it was no different in the UK lets make that very clear. Having to listen to Chris Moyles in the morning is enough to make you want to drive your car into a lake with the windows down and you strapped heavily into your seat.) I am pleasantly surprised to be probably introduced properly to Bob and Tom’s Morning Show on Q95. These guys might be old and around the block a bit, but they are funny and they break the taboos which American Tv doesn't dare.

B&T are a phenomenon in Indy because they are from here and broadcast from here, yet they are nationwide – anyway the reason I write this is share one particualr story that I still can't get out of my head because it's so damn funny!!!

You must all remember Saved by The Bell??? – And obviously the first character that comes to mind is Screech. Well his real name is Dustin Diamond (a classic name in itself!). Well he has been in a blue movie… that is enough to make me laugh but the next level of detail is where it gets really funny! Bob and Tom took the liberty of sharing some more detail about this particular blue movie in that involved Screech giving a performance of a Dirty Sanchez. (If you don't know what that is then you don't want to know but wikipedia tells everything of course!) I don't think Screech could have lower himself anymore! Possible titles as suggested by Bob and Tom were Screech and Sniff and Saved by the Smell .

What I like about Bob and Tom – they bring me this sort of critical news each morning.

Baseball just gets better and better!

Maybe another baseball blog seems too much but this is the only time of the year that most people acknowledge this strange sport actually exists so strike while the iron is hot... The thing that is pissing me off about this lame sport this time around is this concept of walking your opponent. Let me explain (as this is obviously not like take taking your dog for a work that is far more rewarding and interesting). When the best players come out to bat, therefore the stars that the public have paid good money via an scalper (more on that later!) to see, the pitchers deliberately through 4 balls that they can't hit so they get to walk to first base for free. What is the f-ing point in that?????? I guess at least he guarantees himself some exercise?

Baseball

It is October which is the one month in the year that Baseball gets some attention over here as it is 'World' series time. Well I don't want to go into the merits of Baseball, that would take me hours, but I would like to share with you the arrogance of this impotent sport. On the radio the other day advertising the 'World' series they had they proudly announced "The World Series, what the world has been waiting for". Do they have any idea that 95% of the world has never friggin heard of baseball, let alone give a monkeys about it. The WORLD doesn't care less about baseball. Why it is called the World Series when it only has two countries in it, who knows, but quite frankly - who cares?

For a real sport with bats and balls I would like to suggest cricket.

You Must Live in Fear

My TV keeps getting interrupted. I am presented with the following message narrated by 65 year old man holding his nose. "An Emergency Has Been Declared For This Area. For more details of this emergency please tune to channel nine"

Emergency - I am only presume Indianapolis is under attack and Iraq are fighting back? I am too scared to turn to channel 9.

I am also too curious. Can you believe what channel nine was?????
The House Shopping Channel. I kid you not. The emergency must have been that they have run out of Tiffany-Style Single Bird Accent Lights. I just don't know how I will continue on with my life.

Anyway I searched around and I believe the 'real' emergency is that there is some rain on the way. Phew!! I must get a gun to protect myself from these emergency situations! Charlton Heston knew what he was talking about all along!

Excuse Me

Indiana Law: If you walk within 20 foot of another human you must automatically say "Excuse Me". Just for the privilege of seeing another human you must complete this ritual. It's not quite like this where I come from!! In fact you are lucky to get a grunt if you are knocked over by another human.

Imagine being in London and having to follow this law. You would basically just spend your whole friggin live in one place "excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, ............."